Hot Sauce Emporium

Professor Phardtpounder’s – Colon Cleaner

Professor Phardtpounder’s – Colon Cleaner - Main image
$3.72 $7.45 In stock

Category: all-purpose cleaner

I've been using Professor Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner for many years now so I reckon I can say with some degree of certainty that I must have one of the cleanest colons in the country. The label always causes laughter in the shop but, once sampled, this is a sauce that blows people away. Colon Cleaner is much more than just an amusing name. It is a serious Caribbean style, mustard-based sauce with Scotch Bonnet peppers and a touch of turmeric that all combine perfectly to produce a cracking flavour. Colon Cleaner works fantastically with all cold meats, sausages, burgers, chicken, eggs, cheese and I've even got a customer who swears by it in his Bloody Mary. Mark my words, this is one of the most veratile sauces out there and once you've tried it you'll be back for more. With regular use, you too could have a colon as clean as mine.

Customer Reviews (4.8 / 5 · 4 reviews)

Sofia ★★★★★

My kitchen counters have never looked this clean — the spray nozzle gives a fine, even mist that covers a lot of surface area quickly. One wipe and the grime is gone, no scrubbing needed.

Penelope N. ★★★★★

The label always makes me chuckle, but seriously, this cleaner leaves my insides feeling genuinely fresh and empty. I trust it to get the job done right every time.

Riley H. ★★★★★

Been using this stuff for years and my plumbing has never felt this clear. The label shows it's seriously a colon-focused formula, and after every wash I can tell the difference.